Author's posts
Aug 10
Office Warning
Seen in break room at work. DO NOT use microwave and toaster oven at the same time. It will throw the Earth out of orbit and we’ll plummet into the Sun. Thank You
May 13
Campaign Ads
“Mark Nobody hates babies! He voted against babies 3 times! He also hates seniors! He’ll take all your money!” “Jane Person is accusing Mark Nobody of hating seniors and babies – but lets look at the facts. Both of Marks parents are seniors, and Mark was once a baby – would he hate his own …
Oct 27
The Bacon Equation
So in coming across a new bacon product I discovered the bacon equation for microwave bacon. This will help you determine your cooking time using the WowBacon.T = time in secondsP = microwave power in wattsN = number of bacon stripsC = Crispy factor (0-6)Th = Bacon Thickness factor; thin = 30; thick = 45T = …
Nov 25
Wild Church Parties
So I was going through some old pictures on my phone and I came across a photo I snapped of an invitation to a church party that caught my eye. I always thought that maybe the relief society had a secret wild side, and now I have evidence. Although a bit blurry …
Nov 02
Changing Underwear
For some reason I started thinking about telemarketing calls today. I recall when I was in college we would get calls all the time to change our long distance service. One afternoon after getting such a call I said to the salesperson “You want me to change phone companies as often as I change my …
Sep 13
Vegan Zombie Diet
Most of us are familiar with the US Government food pyramid. It guides us in what types and amounts of foods we should eat to stay healthy. With our ever changing world there has been a need to expand on this food pyramid. I have watched a lot of horror movies and from them I …
Sep 06
The Brown Movement (BM)
It seems more and more we are hearing about being “green”. Who the hell decided on that color for saving energy? I for one don’t like the idea of being green. I am not opposed to saving energy and being environmentally conscious, I just hate the term being green. With that in mind I have …
Sep 06
Welcome!
Welcome and thank you for stopping by Driving Without Pants, my blog of strange ideas, jokes, and other nonsense. In the coming days, months, and years you will be treated to the little guys running around in my head. That makes me think – If there are little guys running around in my head where …
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